Advertisement
www.gapersblock.com/airbags/...or_eight/
Russian Intrusion into Central Asia Vodka Watermelon
Purchase your watermelon from the local store (remember: hollow and heavy. Hollow and heavy). When your guests arrive tell them you got it in Tashkent. Purchase also your vodka. When at the store you will be tempted to buy shit vodka, because you already know this recipe and know that I'm about to tell you to pour the vodka into the watermelon, and you consider this a much less honorable fate for quality vodka than, say, a decent martini.
Crumbling Portuguese Empire Saudade Macanese Minchi con Batatas Fritas
The Portuguese may have got to the spice islands before anyone else, but by the start of this dinner all they have left are lousy old-style treaty ports like Macao (from whence this dish comes) while the British have all shiny new treaty ports like Hong Kong. The Treaty of Utrecht, of course, would mean the end of Lusophone influence in the Pacific and the Dutch and British essentially took over Portuguese and Spanish claims. All that remained of the Portuguese influence is this delicious appetizer!
Defense of the Legations Peking Turkey
Typically this Chinese classic is made with duck, but the fatty skin of a turkey will do just as well. While besieged Americans holed up in the British legation during the height of the Taiping Rebellion probably weren't able to enjoy this dish, we hope you will be more lucky.
Russo-Japanese War of 1904-05 Wasabi Mashed Potatoes with Salmon Roe
This recipe is almost as sloppy and imprecise as the Russo-Japanese war itself. However, unlike massed Japanese infantry charges at fortified Russian positions, these potatoes will never be used by military theorists as a justification for the deadly trench warfare that typified World War One.
Get a potato masher and mash them up with the same force and violence that Togo used to sink Makarov's flagship the Petropavlosk on 13 April 1904. Now begin adding the buttermilk/butter and wasabi in doses -- preferably small spurts of wasabi and huge gouts of butter or buttermilk.
Finally, when serving, spoon the little gemlike orange sparklies of salmon roe onto the apex of the heap of mashed potatoes. They'll burst in the mouth with the wonderful salty taste of roe combined with the clean pure burn of good vodka. A perfect explosion of extreme flavors to complement the burn-and-richness of the mashed potatoes.
Commodore Perry's Roasted Asparagus
You may need to make this asparagus twice, since your first attempt to have it recognized and eaten by the officials in Edo will not be successful. Make it again a year later, this time while leveling you guns on the city, and they may even have seconds!
German New Guinea Chocolate Cake
German Chocolate cake is, of course, named after its inventor rather than the country unified by Bismark in 1871. This recipe, however, mixes the stern Teutonic discipline necessary to produce a fluffy cake with delicious tropical coconut flavors. Just like the German presence in New Guinea from 1884 to 1914!
You can leave it as it is, line it with parchment paper, grease it, or grease it and use parchment paper, depending on how nice the pan is and how paranoid you are. Put that sucker in the oven and let it cook for like an hour or something. To test if it is done, violently thrust a potato masher into it. No just kidding!
Cinnamon (September 23, 2003 03:25 PM) said:
When Andrew told me what the theme was, I asked if there was a "Pol Pot Pie".
Russian Intrusion into Central Asia Vodka Watermelon
Purchase your watermelon from the local store (remember: hollow and heavy. Hollow and heavy). When your guests arrive tell them you got it in Tashkent. Purchase also your vodka. When at the store you will be tempted to buy shit vodka, because you already know this recipe and know that I'm about to tell you to pour the vodka into the watermelon, and you consider this a much less honorable fate for quality vodka than, say, a decent martini.
Crumbling Portuguese Empire Saudade Macanese Minchi con Batatas Fritas
The Portuguese may have got to the spice islands before anyone else, but by the start of this dinner all they have left are lousy old-style treaty ports like Macao (from whence this dish comes) while the British have all shiny new treaty ports like Hong Kong. The Treaty of Utrecht, of course, would mean the end of Lusophone influence in the Pacific and the Dutch and British essentially took over Portuguese and Spanish claims. All that remained of the Portuguese influence is this delicious appetizer!
Defense of the Legations Peking Turkey
Typically this Chinese classic is made with duck, but the fatty skin of a turkey will do just as well. While besieged Americans holed up in the British legation during the height of the Taiping Rebellion probably weren't able to enjoy this dish, we hope you will be more lucky.
Russo-Japanese War of 1904-05 Wasabi Mashed Potatoes with Salmon Roe
This recipe is almost as sloppy and imprecise as the Russo-Japanese war itself. However, unlike massed Japanese infantry charges at fortified Russian positions, these potatoes will never be used by military theorists as a justification for the deadly trench warfare that typified World War One.
Get a potato masher and mash them up with the same force and violence that Togo used to sink Makarov's flagship the Petropavlosk on 13 April 1904. Now begin adding the buttermilk/butter and wasabi in doses -- preferably small spurts of wasabi and huge gouts of butter or buttermilk.
Finally, when serving, spoon the little gemlike orange sparklies of salmon roe onto the apex of the heap of mashed potatoes. They'll burst in the mouth with the wonderful salty taste of roe combined with the clean pure burn of good vodka. A perfect explosion of extreme flavors to complement the burn-and-richness of the mashed potatoes.
Commodore Perry's Roasted Asparagus
You may need to make this asparagus twice, since your first attempt to have it recognized and eaten by the officials in Edo will not be successful. Make it again a year later, this time while leveling you guns on the city, and they may even have seconds!
German New Guinea Chocolate Cake
German Chocolate cake is, of course, named after its inventor rather than the country unified by Bismark in 1871. This recipe, however, mixes the stern Teutonic discipline necessary to produce a fluffy cake with delicious tropical coconut flavors. Just like the German presence in New Guinea from 1884 to 1914!
You can leave it as it is, line it with parchment paper, grease it, or grease it and use parchment paper, depending on how nice the pan is and how paranoid you are. Put that sucker in the oven and let it cook for like an hour or something. To test if it is done, violently thrust a potato masher into it. No just kidding!
Cinnamon (September 23, 2003 03:25 PM) said:
When Andrew told me what the theme was, I asked if there was a "Pol Pot Pie".
Advertisement
Advertisement